ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Randomize
