69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
