In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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