I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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