I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
