I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize