Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
