Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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