So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
