You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
