Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize