i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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