toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
