I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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