so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
