Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
