Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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