She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize