WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
