end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
