My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
