I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
