i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
