weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
