Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
