so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
