He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
