i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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