He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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