New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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