I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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