just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize