Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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