i may or may not be watching the land before time
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
