it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
