I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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