Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
