You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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