Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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