I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
