Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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