He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
