Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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