It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
