I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
