Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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