Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
