I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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