I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Panties = found
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
