she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
