we're blogging at a bar
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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