FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
