I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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