I think I just saw someone hide a body.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Randomize
