It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize