fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
