i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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