So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
