U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
